Picture this: You’re sitting in a group of your peers, maybe six or seven of you, and you’re all getting ready to present your current work-in-progress to the group—a sculpture, a poem, a painting, etc. Your friend, let’s call her Sarah, goes first. She shows the group her painting, describes what she’s working on and what she’s hoping to convey in the piece, and the rest of you take turns critiquing it. Your group has decided to embrace the “compliment sandwich” technique since it seems like that’s what everyone else is doing these days.

To be honest, I’m not quite sure where this started. I have always been drawn to books and stories that have long, drawn out, descriptively specific titles, so I guess that would explain it. But by the time I got around to titling my own pieces, I have often found that I like to create titles that go on for just way too long.

I learned that self-hatred is a very western concept, rooted in capitalism and a patriarchal society. Yay. But I also learned that this was something people who would be considered in the sphere of “wise ones” in our society are also dealing with and have dealt with for decades.

What is literature? Like most good art, “you know it when you see it.”

I often struggle to place myself in the field of having any success at all. I have made steps towards a larger goal, but I still find myself getting really down because I don’t feel successful.

And when that happens, I have to remind myself: are you looking for success from money or from just simply doing the thing?

To be honest, the answer is: BOTH!

When we’re kids, all we’re doing is learning. Learning about the world we live in, how people talk and interact, learning who we are as people and how we fit into this whole thing, learning how to read and write and do math and create art. But once we’re adults, and we’ve learned all those basic things, should we even keep pushing ourselves to learn further?

Except it’s in New Jersey. And I’m not paid enough to buy designer clothes all the time. Or at all. In fact, my writing doesn’t pay any of my bills.

On October 20, 2023 I hopped on a plane at LAX with half a dream and a heavy sweater. Six hours later, I landed in Newark, NJ.

What the f*** was I supposed to do now?